Chapter 17

Taylor and Amanda sat in the hospital cafeteria in silence. Taylor got a deli sandwich and Amanda got soup. Taylor didn't touch his food. He couldn't eat, he didn't want to eat, he just didn't have any desire. Amanda glanced up at him as she ate a spoonful of her soup. He just looked so sad. His eyes were vacant. The irises almost looked clear from him crying.
"Taylor…" Taylor didn't answer he just stared off into space. Amanda sighed to herself.
"What?" Taylor said solemnly.
"Are you all right?"
"No." He said and shrunk down his seat, resting his chin on his hands on the table.
"I'm sorry…its…its my fault." Amanda said, trailing off as she could feel the emotion start to rise in her throat.
"Manda…you know damn well it's not your fault." Taylor said, almost with a vicious tone in his voice.
"I…I…" Amanda stammered, wide-eyed and scared.
"I apologize, I didn't mean to snap at you…I'm just really upset." Taylor said, softening his expression. Amanda didn't say anything, she was too afraid.
"Well, let's get back, I just want to go and see her if you don't mind." He said, getting up. Amanda nodded and threw her garbage away.

They made their way to the room and once again saw Phyllis' parents by her bedside. Taylor stood by the curtain surrounding the bed and cleared his throat. Only Phyllis' father noticed him and glanced up.
"I'm going to take Mrs. Black to get something to eat and go home t get some sleep. We'll be back tomorrow morning. I'll give you our number just in case." Mr. Black said and got up, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen, writing down their number. He handed the piece of paper to Taylor and patted him on the shoulder. Taylor felt comfort just from that small pat. Mr. Black led his wife out of the room and down the hallway. Amanda silently walked over to the radiator and sat down, curling her feet up while Taylor sat down in a seat next to the bed and grabbed Phyllis' small hand, feeling relieved in just touching her again. He turned over his wrist and glanced at his watch, noticing it was already midnight. Amanda looked exhausted as she blinked, trying to keep herself awake.
"Huh? What?" Manda mumbled and looked up.
"If you're tired, why don't you go home?"
"No." She simply said. Apparently she didn't want to go into any explanations. Taylor didn't persist, he just looked down at Phyllis' and began gliding his hand over her forehead, running his fingers through her hair. He missed her voice so much. He missed her smile and he couldn't take the fact that she looked so…Taylor stooped thinking about it, replacing the thought with what they were going to do when she got out of the hospital. He decided the best thing to do would be to talk to her some more, she might wake up.
"Phyl…Phyl…listen…I need you to wake up for me. There are a lot of things we got to do. I want you to meet the rest of my family and I want to go places with you. You mean a lot to me…" Taylor could feel himself start to choke up. He swallowed his emotions and continued.
"You've taken care of me…let me take care of you…I love you." He said in a whisper as he pressed his lips against her temple and rested his head near hers.
"I…I can't lose you…please…" He whispered, letting his tears begin to flow down his face. Amanda sat there in astonishment, hearing his heart tugging confessions.

Suddenly, the heart monitor went flat. Taylor could feel himself start to panic as he jumped out of his seat.
"HELP!" He yelled. Amanda ran out of the room in search of a nurse. Within seconds, nurses and doctors rushed into the room, ushering Amanda and Taylor to stand out of the way in fear.
"PHYL! PHYL!" Taylor cried. Amanda gripped his arm as he attempted to get back to her side. The doctors and nurses began CPR on her, used the paddles…nothing.
"PLEASE!" Taylor screamed, letting his voice go hoarse as the tears flooded down his face. The heart monitor was still flat.
"Time of death…12:47…" The doctor said, looking at his watch as all of the nurses and doctors began to move back.
"NO!" Taylor screamed as he finally pushed his way through. He landed on the bed, grabbing her small frail body and hugged her helplessly.
"NO! NO!" He cried as he rocked her back and forth, sobbing.
"We are so sorry…" One nurse said, putting her hand on Taylor's shoulder. Taylor didn't answer, he just continued to rock her lifeless body in his arms. Amanda stood silently in the corner, crying into her hand as she wrapped the other around herself.

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