[HANSON STORIES]

WIZ2000

Chapter 2 - Not In Oklahoma Anymore



["I'm Alive" plays from the Xanadu soundtrack]

"Yo Dorothy. You ok?" Scrappy doo licks his beloved mistress. "Wake up babes, we ain't in Kansas anymore!"
After a short pause Britney says, "Kansas...Oklahoma...is there a difference? And who is Dorothy?"
Scrappy slaps his forehead and looks at the camera; "Geez I better get extra Scooby snacks for putting up with these dippy blondes." Pokes Britney in the side, "You are Dorothy, got it!?"
"Oh Yeah", is her reply.
*Dorothy* gets up and finds she is wearing a white saffron dress that bounces a bit to high if she isn't careful and shows a bit too much of her bust line.
"Hmmm not bad," she thinks as she ponders her image as the next Madonna. "Well lets go out and check the damage."
"Right with ya D." Toto says. She skips to the door with Toto by her side, outside, she sees a world much different than she is use to. Pastel colors that are way too bright, flowers that seem to be made of plastic, a village with buildings painted in the same bright pastels, and an unnerving quiet. Slowly she walks around turning this way and that, trying to get her bearings.

[camera pans the land of the munchkins]

Suddenly she hears a voice singing as Glenda walks through a and sings *Ray of Light*. Slowly stepping towards Dorothy, Glenda is dressed in white dungaree shorts two sizes too small. And a top that is little more than a shred of cloth. White chiffon tassels trail behind her like gossamer wings. As she passes a blue pastel stone, five heads pop out taking notice of her movements. With bugs eyes and dropping jaws; Lance, Joey, Chris, JC and Justin, the Lollipop kids, hottest group in OZ, watch as Glenda gyrates towards Dorothy. Dorothy is taken aback at the woman walking towards her, she is awe of her presence.
"Are you a good witch or an evil one?" Glenda asks.
"Ma...maa...meee... I...umm... I am not a witch. " Dorothy responds.
"Glenda giggles, "Sweety, we all are witches! I just want to know what kind of witch you are, after all dropping a house on poor Posh Spice does sorta stifle the next Spice Girls album."
"Oopps I guess I did it again, didn't mean to honest. It was the storm and... ummm you do believe me, don't you?" Dorothy pleads.
Glenda puts a hand on her hip and looks around. "She is ok guys. No danger here."
Slowly the people come out of hiding, all blonde, all dressed in the latest fashions or the next to nothing beach attire. The tattoo shop rolls out its banner.
"Tattoos done while you wait".
Some guys carrying a table with shirts printed with "5 G&T" head over to the hot wax shop.
Toto asks, " What's up with that Glenda?"
Glenda looks in the direction Toto is pointing and replies,"Oh, they are the *5 Guys and a Table* lighting company, they change light bulbs."
Toto smacks his forehead, "I had to ask."


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