Chapter 11 - Return To OZ

[*Can't Stop* plays in the background]

Dorothy and the guys make their way back into the city of Oz; they are met by a flurry of activity around the castle. The outdoor concert venue is being set up for a command performance with The Lollipop Kids as the top act. It is a festival of lights and sounds they negotiate until they arrive at the castle.
Carson greets them at the door.
"We completed our quest." Dorothy tells him, "And the wicked witch is no more."
Carson sputters and coughs, "I'll be right back." He disappears into the castle. He returns shortly and lets them in.

The group returns to the throne room where the Wizard awaits.
"Well looks like you made it t t t..." The giant head turns and says, " N n n now for your next t t quest."
Dorothy and the guys raise their voices in complaint.
"No way man!" shouts the Lion as Scrappy finds a curious opening to the side of the throne room.....
"Do not not go in there....Stop!" shouts the head as Scrappy opens the door, revealing Rodney Daingerfield at the controls of a giant computer that apparently runs the special effects in the room.
"Geez... tell em Max.... Tell um, I am the janitor."
The giant head speaks," Leave the janitor to his dut t t ies."
Scrappy yells, "Hey guys this is the so called wizard."
The group heads over to the antechamber and Rodney steps away from the controls. He is dressed in flowing robes and a bright blue satin leisure suit. "Its ok Max, they got us."
"So you're not an all powerful wizard? It is all just a sham." says the Scarecrow.
"You catch on quick kid, loose the curls though, you look like my great aunt Sal... Aunt Sal, whatta lady." quips Rodney.
Scarecrow retorts, "Look we went through all this stuff to get Dorothy home and you are a fake! We should tell the people outside." And he turns towards the open balcony.
"Hold it... I can help youse guys." Rodney hurriedly grabs the Scarecrow by the arm. "Listen I came here through some freaky storm in my fishing schooner. Bam! I landed on the old wizard; an evil man who only loved accordion music. I have made this a great place. They love me here! Now youse says youse needs a brain, look kid you came up with those great ideas, you busted into the witches home, nah you got plenty smarts. What youse needs is a diploma. Yo Max, print me out a diploma for my boy Scarecrow here." He wraps him in a fatherly type hug , gets him in a headlock and gives him a nugey.
"Now youse my tin plated friend. Says youse needs a heart. Well my boy what was causing you to rust to begin with? Youse was crying over chopping down the tress and wrecking all the wittle birdies homes. Look at all you've done trying to help out poor Darathy. Nah all you need is a ticker my man. Hey, Max we need a watch that tics."
Max furrows his brow. "A A A what? Na na not sure they makes those things anymore."
As the printer finishes the Scarecrow's diploma a plate at the bottom of the computer slides back and out pops a watch that is shaped like a heart.
"It t t doesn't really tick ick ick. It has a synthesized ta- ta ticking sound."
Rodney signs the diploma and picks up the watch, "Hey that's ok, this is more heart than me mudder- in- law has. That old bat can frown and make plaster crack." He hands the diploma to Scarecrow and gives the watch to Tinman. He walks over to the lion.
"Youse says you need courage. Do youse know how many insurance claims the OZ Mutual Insurance Co. has had to file since you joined these udder guys? We is gonna have to raise the rates for sure." He throws his arm around the Lion. "Bucko, what youse need is a medal, in honor of all you've done, and as head high honcho here I am just the kings for youse. Max! One medal for courage and bravery beyond the call of duty!"
Max responds, "R r r right away boss."
And soon Rodney has a medal which he places over the head of the Lion. The guys looked rather pleased, when Tinman notices Dorothy looking a bit forlorn. Tinman goes over and is soon joined by the Lion and Scarecrow. The Scarecrow looks at Rodney.
"Is there nothing you can do?" Rodney Takes Dorothy by the hand.
"Awww... Darathay. If they was anything I could do; I would sweetheart. But even the power in this statue is not enough to send youse home."

[*Music* by Madonna plays]

"Look it's Glenda!" Lion shouts.
They all move out on the balcony. The crowd below is entranced by the bright ball of light that slowly moves across the sky to stop at the balcony. As the ball of light dims, Glenda appears. The crowd cheers! Rodney steps up to the microphone.
"Welcome to OZ. We are blessed by your visit." he says with practiced flourish.
Glenda replies, "Thank you good Wizard and greetings to the people of OZ and a special greeting to the Lollipop Kids. The Kids were doing a sound check but bow to Glenda.
Dorothy says to Glenda, "Can you help me get home, the Wizard can't."
The crowd gasps as Dorothy's claim is heard over the microphone.
Rodney steps up and whispers to Dorothy, "Whose side you on sweetie?" He turns to the crowd.
"What Dorothy meant to say was my magic, while truly awesome, is unable to send her back to her homeland. Not to worry my magic is still there to protect the good citizens of OZ. Scarecrow here will help me demonstrate. Scarecrow move forward."
The Scarecrow moves forward.
The Wiz continues, "Now everyone watch the Scarecrow. By my power as high wizard you shall change color!"
He wiggles his fingers pointing them at Scarecrow. Scarecrow looks around, the Wiz is pointing at him, Glenda is looking at him, the Lollipop Kids are looking at him, everyone is staring at him!... so true to form he starts blush. Soon he is red from cheek to toe. The crowd gasps in awe and then cheers the Wizard. Rodney quickly shuffles everyone back inside.
Glenda takes Dorothy by the hand and says, "Child, you have the power to go home, you don't need me or the Wizard. Just use the shoes. Click the heels and think about home."
Lion interrupts, "Hold on. You mean all this stuff we went through was for nothing? You could have just told her back in the beginning how to go home, but didn't?"
She looks over at the Lion, gives him a small kiss on the cheek, " I'm a sadistic witch aren't I?"
She giggles leaving the Lion a bit disoriented. "Now dear are you ready to go?"
Dorothy responds, "Yes I am."
"What about you three?" Glenda asks.
"Yeah we better go back as well." answers Tinman.
Scarecrow adds, "We'd love to take a vacation here, but if we take two years to put out our next album our fans will drop us like Milli Vanilli!"
Glenda turns to Rodney, "And you?"
He replies," Whose me? Are ya kiddin!? Back there I just git no respect. Here dahling I am someone, but tell you what, here is my number, if you can give it to Chevy Chase. We'll do lunch or somethin." He hands Dorothy a small slip of paper. Dorothy and the guys group together and Dorothy tells herself...
"Close your eyes and think of home...think of home....think of home..."

[A pink cloud covers the screen]

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