I rocked backwards and fell. I opened my eyes. The blanket I had gotten from the bedroom was laying beside me. I sat there a few minutes. Zac came in.
"Are you ok? " He asked.
"Yeah. I tripped over the blanket." I said as he helped me up.
"You need to be careful." He said.
I looked back as we walked out. I shook the thought out of my head. We sat down downstairs to watch a movie. Thats why I got the blanket. I laid my head over on his shoulder.
"Zac, you don't mind do you?" I asked.
"About you laying your head on my shoulder?" He asked.
"No." I said.
"That your pregnant?" He asked.
"Yeah. I know you don't want a baby right now." I said.
"Jennifer, it's not like you forced me." He said.
"You know what I mean." I said.
"I do and I don't care. I don't mind. It's our baby. As long as it's not someone else and you're just saying it's mine." He said.
I looked at him.
"When would I have time? You're always around me." I said.
"And I intend to keep it that way." He said as he kissed me. I laid my head back down and we watched the movie. About 10:00 Amanda called and said they all were gonna stay for another week or so. Also that they were gonna go down to Florida. We watched about four or five movies. At about 11:30, I would guess, I fell asleep. Zac finished watching the movie as he looked down.
"Should I wake her up?" He asked himself.
"Naaa." He replied to his own question while he eased up a little. I moved a little bit, but settled back down agian. He rewound the movies and put them away. He then picked me up blanket and all in his arms. He turned the light off and went up stairs. He turned off the stair lights once we got upstairs. He walked down to our room and walked in. It was a bit dark so he flipped the light on. He laid me down and pulled the cover out from under me and covered me up. He then changed and laid down.
April 18th 2006
I woke up about four feeling sick again. Zac was out cold. I sat in the bathroom.
"How much of this can I stand?" I asked myself.
I got up and walked downstairs. I had an appointment at noon for a sonogram just to see. Zac left a note. I then sat at the table. I laid my head down. I thought I heard something. I got up and walked to the window and opened it. There was a white van across the street.
"He's watching." I said.
I watched the van intently.
"No, you won't take this child. You won't hurt it." I said. I grabbed my housecoat and put it on. I then walked outside and toward the van. I opened the door. It was their friends watching.
"Let me tell you now. I will not sit around and let you watch me. Send a message to your boss. If you're not gone in ten minutes... I'm blowing the van up and I won't think twice about it." I said and shut the door. I went back inside. A few minutes later the van pulled away. I sighed then as I walked to the kitchen and fixed a bowl of cereal. I sat at the table. I laid the papers in front of me. I finished but still didn't read over them. I decided to lay back down. I walked up stairs and laid back down. I got closer to him because I was cold. He put his arm around me. He was awake now. I fell asleep shortly after. When I woke up again it was about 11:30. I sat up and then walked downstairs. Zac was at the table nibbling on crackers and reading over some of the papers. I noticed he looked sort of sick.
"Whats the matter?" I asked as he looked at me.
"Blood." He said.
I smiled at him.
"Well, duh." I said.
I sat down and picked up one of the papers.
"The doctor called and said he'd bring you in for a sonogram to determine the baby's age, then he'll plan from there." He said.
"No one still?" I asked.
"12:30. Be there at noon." He said.
"Ok." I said.
I went up-stairs and grabbed a clean suit and took a bath. I got out and put the housecoat on and then dried my hair a little and then got dressed. I sat down as Zac walked in.
"You ok?" He asked.
"Yeah, I took a bath." I said.
"Ok." He said.
He grabbed the hair brush and went behind me. He started brushing my hair.
"How do you want it fixed?" He asked.
"Braid it." I said while I sat there and let him. He braided it loosely but tight enough for it to stay. I got up once he was done and snapped a hairbow in it.
"Zac, are you coming?" I asked.
"Are you kidding? Of course I'm coming." He said.
I sat down feeling tired. He got up.
"It says tiredness is expected." He said.
"Yeah." I said.
We got up together and I walked downstairs. I ate a quick breakfast but a good one. At 11:30 we left. Zac drove. He pulled in.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said.
We went in. I filled out papers for Dr.Anderson. I filled out a lot of papers and turned them in. At 12:30 a nurse called my name. We both went back to the office first as he reviewed the papers.
"You estimate four to six weeks?" He asked.
"Yes." I said.
"Let's see how close I can get." He said as he smiled. He went back and put me in a room.
"Lay down and get comfortable. The lady will be in a few minutes. She's the best we have." He said.
I nodded as I got up on the table with Zac's help. I laid back getting comfortable. I was scared. I had been thinking about Andrew and Adam, and what he might do. She came in looking bouncy and happy.
"Congratulations." She said.
We both nodded watching her grab the monitor and set it up. Zac was sitting above me to the right. The monitor was on the left. She hooked it up and turned it on.
"Ok, we had some problems with one. They replaced it finally." She said.
I just gave her a weak look while she grabbed the jelly. Grabbing my shirt she pulled it up some and the shorts down quite a bit. The Jelly felt cold.
"Relax." She said as I gave her another weak smile. She pressed the transducer next to my stomach. She went back and forth. She then looked at the screen carefully. She pointed to the tiny baby.
"I'd say. March.." She said and looked again.
"Fourteenth - fifthteen." She said.
Zac thought for a minute.
"fourteenth?" He said.
"Tay's birthday." I said.
"Yeah." He said.
"Well, we'll write it as march 14th." She said.
"Can you print that?" Zac asked.
"Yeah. I was about to ask." She said.
She did something and handed him the copy. She then took a towel and handed it to him.
"I'll let you. I think some went below my limit." She said.
"No. Just a drop or two." I said as Zac wiped it off.
"Slimy." He said.
"Cold too." I said.
"Feels warm." He said.
"Zac, its been next to me. It better be warm." I said.
"Oh yeah." He said.
I fixed my clothes and we walked back to the office. He had us sit down.
"She estimates March the fourteenth with ya'lls help. So it will be five weeks. Now for the tests. The first one is in eight to twelve weeks. You can choose. It will probably take two to three weeks for results." He said.
I looked at Zac.
"Your choice." He said.
"Is it better earlier or later?" I asked.
(Authors note*: I don't know much about pregnancy. So if it is wrong sorry.)
"I'd say earlier" He said.
"Eight weeks." I said.
He checked the calendar.
"May nineth." He said as I nodded.
"Ok.. how about 9:30 am?" He asked.
"Sounds fine." I agreed.
He made the appointment. I paid on the way out and Zac drove. We got home at 2:30. Taylor had called saying they would be home in a week or so. Isaac called to and said he would be home in a few days. Diana called asking Zac to watch Zoe and Mackie the next day. He called her back and told her he would while I went up-stairs and laid down. I had a hundred different emotions. I wanted to be happy and all and I was. I wanted the baby. But it was Adam that still distrubed me. He had been watching, I wasn't stupid. I was afraid Zac would be right. He came up-stairs standing at the door. He waited a few minutes then walked to the bed and he laid down next to me.
"You wanna go with me tomorrow?" He asked.
"I might.." I said as he moved a few strands of hair.
"Whats the matter? And don't say nothing. I know something is wrong." He said.
"I get a feeling you weren't ready for a baby." I said.
"Jennifer, weather I am or not.... I got one." He said.
"Zac, that's not the point. If you didn't want one... you should have told me. I would have gotten something to prevent that for a while till you were." I said.
He thought a minute.
"I got the feeling what you wanted was a baby. Jennifer, I see the way you act. I see the way you look at that section. I know you want to go in there. But you didn't have a reason to. Zoe was your reason till she wasn't a baby anymore." He said.
"Zac, your feelings are involved also." I said.
"I know." He said.
"Then what are your feelings? You don't act like you want a baby." I said while he thought about it.
"Its not that I don't want one. It's the fact I'm afraid. I don't want the baby to be in danger. I don't want him or her to go through any of what we went through." He said.
"I know." I said.
"Then you understand what I'm trying to say?" He asked.
"I do... I also know if you weren't ready you should have told me." I said again.
He considered the sentence.
"In a way... I want the baby. It's not like I can turn back the clock and tell you. In a way I don't. Most of the don't.... is I want Andrew, Adam, and John out of ours lives for good. I want the baby. It's something only we can share. No one can interfere there. No one. Not even them. Then there is the idea that he'll hurt you or the baby. I don't want that." He said.
"Zac, listen for a minute. He won't harm the baby. If anything... he will try to claim him or her. Zac there's no guarantee. He still wants a baby." I said.
"I saw the van this morning." He said.
"He was watching, so what." I said.
"Ok, its a fact. In eight more months we're having a baby. Now we got family to tell and things to get." He said.
"Yeah." I said.
"I'll make ya a deal. If you come with me.... I'll take the wheelchair." He said.
"No, I can walk." I said.
"Ok, we need some things for you and the baby." He said.
"Ok." I said as he got up and then I got up also.
"We gonna take yours or mine?" He asked.
"Mine... we drove yours this morning." I said.
"Ok." He said.
We went to Wal-Mart first. We were standing in the paint department.
"Zac, it might be a girl." I said.
"Its a boy." He said smiling.
"Girl." I said.
"Boy." He said.
I looked at him.
"Zac." I said.
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