To See Beyond The Surface

Chapter 33 - For The Love Of Jason - Continued

Taylor couldn't concentrate on the movie and was wondering if he should just go back up to his bedroom. He rubbed his forehead with his hand and felt tired again. He hated feeling like this.
"HEY kiddo! I hear you wanted to see me!"
Taylor jumped at the sound of the voice behind him. He quickly spun his chair around and joy filled his heart. He blinked his eyes wondering if Jason was really standing there about five feet away from him.
"JASON!? OH GOD JASON!" Taylor yelled as he suddenly bolted from the chair and stood up not remembering he couldn't walk yet. He took two pain filled steps forward reaching out toward him when he started to fall to the floor. Jason ran to him and caught him just in time and lifted him into the air from under his arms. Taylor cracked the biggest smile on his face as Jason suddenly hugged him tightly to him with Taylor's legs dangling under him. Taylor wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged back never wanting to let go.
"Jason! You're here! You're really here! I LOVE YOU! I love you so much!" Taylor shouted as tears of joy ran down his face.
"I love you too kiddo!" Jason crooned lovingly still hugging the boy to him with his left arm as he gently caressed Taylor's head with his right hand that lay on his left shoulder.
He slowly placed Taylor down onto the couch and sat down next to him. Taylor noticed his family standing just outside the room with smiles covering all their faces and he saw Alice and Sherri standing there too.
"How? Who?" Taylor asked Jason looking confused but happy.
"Alice wrote to me and told me what was going on with you. I knew I had to come when I heard you were very depressed." Jason explained brushing a loose hair away from Taylor's tear soaked face.
"She...she did?"
"Yes. I am going to stay here as long as it takes to see you get back on your feet again." Jason said noticing Taylor bowed his head and then turned to look at his family as they all came into the room followed by Alice and Sherri.
"Taylor? You can't give up like this! I know you can walk again. You just have to want too." Jason assured him as Taylor looked down at his hands.
"I do. I really want to but..." Taylor rasped desperately as his bottom lip began to quiver.
"But what Taylor? What is wrong?" Jason asked gently as Walker came up to him and bent down in front of his son.
"Tay? Tell us what is wrong. Don't be afraid." Walker pleaded lovingly rubbing Taylor's right leg.
"It is more then just not being able to walk. Isn't it?" Jason asked reaching out and lifting Taylor's chin up to make him look at him. Taylor began to cry and then covered his face with his hands.
"Tay? Please Tay. Just let it out." Walker begged him as fear filled his stomach watching his son cry.
"I....I keep having nightmares..... I am falling and I die! And no one cares." Taylor cried out in agony. Ike felt his heart drop to his stomach.
"I don't know why! I keep thinking that everyone thinks that I am a burden. Jason I am a burden! I am letting everyone one down. I should be able to walk by now!" Taylor whimpered pitifully looking around at his family.
"Oh Tay! No one thinks that. We know it is going to take a long time for you to walk again." Walker crooned in a soothing voice of understanding.
"Tay you were doing great. You are coming along just fine with all the exercises that I put you through." Alice said matter of factly.
Suddenly he burst into tears as the anger and pain finally overflowed.
"I'm angry! I'm angry that this happened to me! Why? Why did I have to fall? I should have been more careful. Ike told me to be careful and I didn't listen to him! I deserved to get hurt. I DESERVE IT! I DESERVE NOT TO WALK AGAIN!" Taylor finally cried out pounding his fists onto the couch repeatedly.
Jason grabbed Taylor's hands that were still tightly balled into fists.
"Taylor? NO! Is that what you think? It was an accident. Just a terrible accident." Jason consoled him trying to calm Taylor down from his inner agony.
"NO! I...I" Taylor cried and collapsed into Jason's arms sobbing uncontrollably. Jason rocked him gently looking into Walker's worried eyes.
"Taylor? Everything is going to be alright. I promise." Jason vowed.
"How? How do you know?" Taylor whimpered softly.
"I went through what your going through now." Jason stated as everyone turned to look at him with questioning eyes.
Taylor slowly sat up and crinkled his eyebrows together with a questioning look on his face.
"Yes. I wanted to blame my scars for the reason I hid from the world for so many years. But I was really not facing the real reason." Jason said as he cradled Taylor's face in his hands.
"Why then? What was the reason?" Taylor asked as he blinked back the tears raising his eyebrows and staring into Jason's eyes sadly wanting to know the answer.
"I was blaming myself for Mary and David's deaths. I thought I should have saved them, but it was just a terrible accident too. I finally came to terms with that. And Taylor you are the reason why I did." Jason exclaimed suddenly smiling.
"What? How?" Taylor asked with his voice still shaking.
"You showed me love. You showed me that someone cared about me. I thought I didn't deserve love and understanding. So you see Taylor even though this terrible thing happened to you there's always a reason for everything. You didn't deserve to get hurt. You don't deserve all this pain you are going through. It wasn't your fault! Don't ever blame yourself. Ike, your brother, tried his hardest to not let you fall. You told me that. He loves you! Your whole family loves you. Look at their faces. They care about you very much!" Jason stated matter of factly as Taylor looked at all the faces of his family who stood around him.
"I..I don't know what to say. You're right. Oh God Jason you're right!" Taylor moaned looking up at the ceiling and tightly closed his eyes. Relief filled him. He couldn't understand why he was so depressed and now he knew and could let it go.
"Taylor? Are you okay?" Walker asked watching his son intently as did the rest of his family.
"Yes Dad! I love you. I love you all so much. I am really sorry for all this. I'm so sorry I worried everyone." Taylor apologized looking into his father's caring eyes.
"We love you too! Don't ever forget that. Okay?" Walker said smiling up at Taylor. Taylor smiled back at him. Walker felt relieved to finally see his son smile again. He could see in his eyes that Taylor was back. Alice was right when she said Jason would understand what Taylor was feeling inside. Jason gave him back his son.
"So you're really going to stay?" Taylor asked Jason.
"Yep! Alice and I are going to work together to get you to walk again."
"That would be so great!" Taylor shouted excitedly looking to Alice who stood nodding her head in agreement.
"How about starting now?" Jason asked him.
"Umm.. okay. But I promised Ike and Zac that we would work on our music tonight."
"Hey Tay?" Zac asked smiling at him.
"It's more important to get those wimpy legs of yours working again." Zac said teasingly as Taylor laughed.
"Very funny butt head!"
"Hey ....everybody. He called me butt head! The old Tay is back!" Zac yelled triumphantly.
Everyone in the room laughed together from Zac's remark as Jason lifted Taylor up and carried him while he followed Alice to the therapy room.

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