Taylor closed his eyes and remembered the time and the day. The one he tried so hard to forget.
"I was searching the park for Zac. I had gone back to the car to get the keys. I heard a light footstep. Then a rag went over my mouth. I couldn't see who exactly it was but I fell asleep. When I came to I was laying next to Zac. He was asleep. Soundly. They stopped by the park and laid him out next to the river. I memorized the spot. He then left. He drove a few blocks and stopped. He blindfolded me and took me inside what might have been a house or a hotel, but it had a bed." He said, then stopped and swallowed hard. Zac leaned up wanting to just run over and hug him. He got up and walked to Taylor. He sat beside him on the loveseat.. Ike watched. He then got up and walked over too. He sat beside Taylor on the otherside.
"He hurt me...like Zac. Only he had a few. Andrew and Adam never touched me. Then they knocked me out afterwards and dropped me where ever it was they did." He said.
Then he broke down crying. He had held it in so long only silently crying when he was alone or at night. Zac then started crying agreeing. Ike got up and sat in the middle as he comforted his two brothers. He then decided Andrew had to pay. Adam too. He sat there til they were asleep and he fell asleep also. Zac slept better when someone was next to him. He knew it wasn't me. But somehow he had trust in his brothers knowing Taylor felt hundred percent safer too. He always liked being in a room with them.
With me I was awake. But not asleep, thinking. I kept remembering the look Zac had when I told him I can't. About six am, Amanda came in.
"Good morning." She said.
I looked at the calender.
"January 5th. Damn... never thought I would see it." I said.
She laughed a bit.
"You ready?" She asked.
"No. But come on." I said.
She helped me this time. In the morning. I got the machine the morning she hooked it up and worked it awhile. We talked a bit.
"Ya know, Taylor hasn't slept good the last few days." She said.
"Zac, either." I said.
"How you know?" She asked.
"He's tired too much. If he slept eight hours he would be hyper not tired." I said.
"Oh." She said.
This time when I stood up it didn't hurt as much though it had a bad spot that always hurt. After three hours I went back to the room. Zac came at about ten oclock. It was bath day and I liked bath day. He did to. He took me to the bathroom running the water. I waited patiently. I wanted do it myself, but it just involved walking from the bed to the bathrom. Then getting towels and shampoo and all. I couldn't. He looked at me.
"Well?" He asked.
"Well, what?" I asked.
"Water good?" He asked.
"It's okay." I said.
"Check list." He said.
"Shampoo?" I said.
"Check." He said.
"Soap, rag and towel." I said.
"Check, check, and check." He replied.
"A clean gown." I said.
"Check." He said.
"Underwear." I said.
"Check." He said.
"Footes." I said.
"Check." He said.
"Um........I think that's all." I said.
He put everything at reach. I waited. What more could I do? He had everything, even the rolling chair. He rolled to me.
"Well, you gonna undress or get in with your clothes on?" He asked.
"I think I'll undress for a bath it would do much more good." I said.
"Yes, I know." He said.
I let him untie it the hospital gown and then I slid it off. I undressed completely and then got in. When I sat in the water it felt better, then having a machine hooked to my leg to move it. Water being light, I could move it easily. I began bending my knees and all. He sat by the tub washing me off. He liked too so I let him. I had no objections though my parents did and his too. But Zac explained we slept in the same bed and we have seen each other though. He denied that we ever had a sexual relationship. He was washing my hair. He always did a massage while washing my hair.
"Zac, why are you so tired?" I asked, turning around to face him while he rinsed the soap out.
"I'm not tired." He said.
"Zac, you're half asleep now. By the way. Why are you rinsing my shoulder?" I asked.
"I don't know." He said.
I took the cup and turned around and ducked under the water. All the soap came out. I came up.
"Rinsed... now tell me why your so tired." I said.
"I don't know. Maybe I sleep to long or something." He said.
"Or your not sleeping good." I said.
"No, that's Taylor. He confessed....they did hurt him, but not Andrew and Adam." He said.
"Zac, I asked about you. Amanda is there for Taylor. Not you. I want to know how you are." I said.
"I'm fine." He said.
He started letting the water out..
"No you're not fine." I said.
He helped me out and sat me in his lap, facing him.
"Tell me. Please?" I asked.
I had a towel wrapped around me.
"Ok, I'm tired. Nothing unusual. I'm always tired." He said.
He was now drying me off, slowly but getting there. Somehow bath time always lasted for an hour or so. Once dry, he helped put on my underwear and helped me straighten the gown. Going to the bathroom I could actually do myself, since they had the bed closer to the bathroom in the room and I could leave the brace and hobble like a penguin to the bathroom. But bath time the brace had to go and it couldn't get wet so I was stuck to having someone else do it for me. But Zac volunteered to do the whole job. I guess it's when we spend one hour with no one there but us. Like a time for us to share. He then sat me down while he got everything together to put in the bag and then he put it away. Grabbed the dirty clothes and put them in the bin, which was sent down to the laundry in the basement. He then rinsed the tub out and put the soap, shampoo and other odd stuff away. He then walked to me. I looked up at him, since he now stood up..
"Just help me up." I said.
He did. He helped me walk to the bed without the brace. But he was basically carrying me to the bed. Once there I sat back down. He sat down on the side of the bed.
"Zac, let me know what happens outside this place with you." I said wanting him to tell me why he was so tired..
"Nothing happens. I go home." He said.
"Zac?" I said, narrowing my eyes to his and he knew it to. He can't lie now. Not without me knowing.
"Nightmares...you're not beside me when I wake up. And I don't know who to go too. Ike doesn't understand and Taylor he doesn't sleep good either. Amanda is on a 24 hour surveillance. You're not beside me. When I wake up, I miss not having you beside me." He said.
"Zac, you can stay here ya know." I said.
"I know. But then the doctor says I'm in the way." He said.
"When did he tell you were in the way?" I asked.
"A couple of weeks ago." He said.
"Zac, you're not in the way. In fact you help me a lot, when the nurse is out having her slumber party." I said.
"But then where will I sleep." He said.
I scooted over.
"Right beside me." I said.
"No, I might hit you and you know when I go into a deeper sleep, I can knock you off the bed." He said.
"Yes I know." I said.
"I'll just get that teady bear with the heartbeat." He said.
"Okay." He said.
He laid his head over and rested a bit til therapy. He wasn't with me on Wednesday a special one was there and he stayed in the room. I hated wednesday and liked wednesdays. He was mean. Damn four minutes on the machine and three hours on my feet. He wouldn't let me sit down. I had to either stand or hold myself up with my arms. That made my arms hurt. For three hours I basically held myself up. When the tourture was over, Zac came back in and grabbed me. I had sweat pouring down my face from trying so hard. Once back to the room I laid down. Zac wiped my face off. My arms hurt now. I didn't take the pain killer, but I needed one. Everything hurt. I just layed as still as possible. He pushed to hard. Unlike Zac who every fifthteen to twenty minutes made me sit down and take a short break. He didn't. At six olclock Zac left to go home, leaving me again alone. It was boring. Not to mention I didn't want to be alone. I laid back and stared at the ceiling, trying to rest. I was good at keeping things hidden like the fact I was scared to death. I knew no matter how long it was I wasn't gonna walk out if I did. It would be a blessing. But I kept the hope because the pain wasn't as bad with each day passing. But I was scared. Alone. I wanted Zac to be there all the time, but he didn't want to be. I didn't understand and I wanted so much for him to hold me now. About nine oclock I finally fell asleep.
I woke-up at 9:30. I was awake totally, but no one was around just yet. I wanted to get a book on the otherside of the room. I tried for the nurse but she wouldn't come. Breakfast was at ten for me. I eased over the side, knowing it is going to hurt like hell. But I stood up. The pain hit hard and fast. Short bursts. I started to sit down but made myself go on. I walked from the bed ten feet and got the book and walked back. Though I was halfway there the pain was only getting worse. I held the tears back long enough to see where I was going. I was about there, maybe five feet when Zac walked in.
"What are you doing?" He asked, catching me as I just passed out.
Coming to about thirty minutes later, the doctor was saying something. I sat up. The pain had went away a bit. They both looked at me.
"Why did you get up?" Zac asked, kind of harsh.
"Because I'm sick of laying down." I said.
"Walking like you did will not help." The doctor said.
"I don't see why not. Fifthteen feet all by myself." I said.
"Yeah but you strained four ligaments, that weren't healed yet." The doctor said.
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