[HANSON STORIES]

WIZ2000

Chapter 8 - Ambushed!



Cristina paces in her throne room with obvious anger.
"He sent them after my statues!!! MY STATUES!" She paces back and forth a few times and up towards her lavish throne. Kid Rock pops out from behind the throne, seeing her snit, decides to just hide near a mirror, knowing no self respecting blonde would break a mirror. She climbs the dais, up to the throne; turns and flops on the chair, thrums her fingers on the arm rest, trying to solve her problem.
"Ok, " she says to herself, "I tried being nice, guess it is time to simply knock off the bimbo and be done with it. Have to play it cool, the magic in those shoes is powerful. KID!!!"
Kid Rock hops to attention, "Yes, your high and mightiness?"
"Take your boys, bring Dorothy here to me, alive." the witch commands.
"And the guys? Your queenship?"
Cristina drums her fingers a few times on the table and with an evil grin says, "Mangle them!"

[*Danger Zone* by Kenny Loggins plays in the background]

Dorothy and the guys enter into the city. Everywhere people run and hid from them. It is getting dark and the night sounds are eerie. They all huddle close as they come to a crossroads. There is a car burning across the way, a few mangled trash cans dot the road, a mailbox that has nearly rusted down. One street lamp brightens and dims, furnishing the intersection with its only light. The buildings are in various forms of decay, a chain link fence runs between them. The smell of sewage and decay is overpowering.
As Dorothy enters the intersection, a convertible Cadillac drives down the street towards her, slams on its brakes and spins to a stop in the intersection. Kid Rock is in the back seat, wearing an open black leather vest, and black, shiny, faux leather pants. On his head a Spanish cowboy hat with tassels. He motions to his driver, who sneers at Dorothy and her group, raises his open hand the closes it in a fist. Suddenly from every street corner appears street hockey players, dressed in full metal and leather gear, wielding energized sticks. They start yelling and banging their hockey sticks. The group is surrounded. The Lion hides behind a mailbox, while the others assume a fighting stance. Dorothy screams. One of the skaters swings in a low arc, sparks fly as it hit's and slices into a lamp post. They begin to yell and howl; swinging their sticks and skating towards the group.
One of the skaters approaches the Tinman, swinging his stick, only to have it severed by the Tinman's axe! The skater is a bit perplexed as the Tinman, hits him between the eyes with the butt of his axe and moves to his next opponent. The Tinman swings in a low arc cutting the wheels from the next skater, sending him flying through the air into the lamp post. Scrappy doo charges into two of the skaters biting one on the leg. As the guy yelps in pain, the second punk swings his stick, catching Scrappy and sending him into the mailbox! The two shout "GOAL!" and high five each other. They turn and charge the Scarecrow.
The Scarecrow does a leaping spinning kick and knocks the skater into the one behind him. The Scarecrow back flips and catches one of the punks off guard wrapping his legs about his neck and spinning him to the ground. Scarecrow does a flip, lands on his feat and charges another pair of skaters.

An astonished Kid Rock says, "OK, What the hell is going on? In the other movies they are dorks. Who said they could fight back?"

He watches a bit longer, seeing his guys are getting their butts kicked and takes a long draw on his cigarette, flips it over his shoulder, and hops out of the convertible. He reaches behind him and grabs a very wicked looking stick and motions to a few of his troops. They charge towards the Tinman who spins his axe menacingly. He turns to face the new group not seeing Kid Rock as he skates behind Tinman to slice off the top of the fire hydrant. The water sprays upon the Tinman causing him to rust in an instant. With an evil smirk Kid Rock turns his attention to the Scarecrow. He motions at four of his punks, who charge Scarecrow en masse. The Scarecrow quickly dispatches two of them with a flurry of punches and kicks that would make Jackie Chan proud, then from behind Kid comes with his stick blade level and cuts the scarecrow in two! The Scarecrow's halves fall to the ground and he flops around trying to keep his stuffing from blowing away in the night breeze. Kid laughs hysterically at what he has done, skates over and scoops up Dorothy. She lets out a scream. Suddenly, the Lion steps out of the shadows, his eyes have turned to smoldering embers of gold, a low growl escapes through his snarled lips. A skater rushes him swings his stick, only to have the Lion catch it one clawed hand and slice the stick in two with the other. The punk barely recovers his senses only to be hurled over the fence. A second swings his blade only to have the Lion nimbly side step and swing at the face of the skater. After a pause his mask falls into several pieces. The skaters faints. The Lion with a loud roar moves toward Kid, who has dumped Dorothy in the car. As several punks try to intercept him only to be pounded, back-handed or tossed to the side. Kid turns to see the snarling fangs of the Lion as he moves toward him. Kid backs into the side of the car and has no where to run. Kid pales as he watches one of the huge claws raise up, preparing to rip him to shreds.
"Oh shit... man..... now lets be cool," he whimpers. The light reflects off the deadly claws as he poises to strike. Suddenly the arm drops, the Lions eyes turn glassy and he falls to the ground. Behind him is a punk with a aluminum bat that has a terrible bend where he struck the Lion.
"You my man, just got yourself a raise!" Kid rock says as he climbs in the car and takes off back to the lair of the evil witch.

Scrappy wakes up and climbs out of the mailbox, and sees the battle scene.
"Oh man! We gotta get Dorothy away from the witch."
The Scarecrow looks over and says, "See if you can wake the Lion."
Scrappy climbs out of the mailbox and rushes to the Lion. He pours some water on Lion and he slowly gets to his feet. He stagers over to the Tinman and pulls him out from under the water spray. Scrappy retrieves the oil can from Dorothy's basket which fell during her abduction. He begins to oil the Tinman and soon the Tinman is able to move once again. The three of them go over to the Scarecrow. They begin picking up the stuffing and Tinman retrieves the Scarecrow's lower half.
"Looks like you fell apart there bud. " he snickers.
"Oh sure, yuck it up!" Scarecrow quips as he begins re-stuffing his midsection.
The lion asks, "This isn't hay. What is it?"
Scrappy takes a look at some of the stuffing as the Scarecrow gets to his feet.
"Oh those are pictures of Taylor Hanson... it figures." says Scrappy with an evil grin.
"Why is that?" asks Tinman.
"Everyone knows that celebrities are full of themselves." Scrappy giggles.
The trio turns and glowers at the puppy.
"Errr...guys....hehe...lets not....ummm... Maybe.... we better go..."
And Scrappy turns and takes off running with the three guys chasing after him.


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