[HANSON STORIES]

WIZ2000

Chapter 4 - Tin Man



[The camera flies over the landscape towards a city of steel and glass. *What a Girl Wants* plays as the city comes into view. A city where the people revere Cristina and her *thought police* scour the city, looking like golden storm troopers, save that only the head, torso and feet are armored, the rest is skin, tanned to a deep bronze. The police scour the city looking for those who would speak out against the evil witch. The camera zooms past the people and the police on its way to large skyscraper located on the beach. As thousands of mindless fans shout her name, the camera zooms to the penthouse, finding Christina setting in front of her magic mirror in the large and eloquent bedroom. The room is decadent in its opulence, sculptures and paintings, furs and deco furniture adorn the room. A large oval bed In the center of the room on a raised dais. All around are sculptures of man and women in various states of undress, the only other furnishing being the dresser at which we see Cristina sitting, staring into the mirror and viewing the addition of the scarecrow to Dorothy's little ensemble..]

"ARRRGGGHHHH!!!! She has got an ally!!! Kid! Wake your sorry butt up!" Christina shrieks.
Raising up from the large oval bed is Kid Rock, and says, "What's up, babes?"
He rises out of the bed wearing dark sunglasses and a pair of silk pajama bottoms. He saunters over the where the witch sits and looks over her shoulder.
"Don't we still have the virus running in the Tinman?"
Cristina's eyes light up with sadistic glee, "Yes, we do, " She spins her chair to face her computer, laughs maniacally and begins typing furiously. The only sound besides that of the keyboard clacking is her occasional cackling as she finishes sending her commands.

[The camera focus' on the monitor where the huge red words flash *DESTROY DOROTHY AND THE SCARECROW*]

[fade to black]

[Mr. Roboto by STYX plays in the background]

Dorothy, Scarecrow, and Toto top a small knoll while looking at the map.
Dorothy says, "There should be a huge forest and then we..."
Her voice trails off as the three of them are met by a site of rows of tree stumps. The forest has been destroyed. Only a lone figure can be seen in the distance, standing like a statue over a fallen tree. As the trio approach they see it is some sort of robot, looking like a 'Star Wars' protocol droid minus the arm braces and with a head that basically looks like a metallacized Isaac Hanson.
The Scarecrow taps the Tinman on the head, "He seems to have rusted solid."
Dorothy spies a access hatch on the Tinman's hip and pries it open to reveal a oil can.
"Hey! This should work." She grabs the can and begins hitting his joints and slowly but surely the Tinman regains movement.
"Ohhhhh wow, thanks," says Tinman. "I had been stuck that way for along time."
Tin man checks his double bladed axe. It looks very sharp, very menacing.
"Why were you rusted like that?" asks Scarecrow.
"I was cutting down the trees so Cristina can grind them into pulp for her posters when I saw the poor ..*sniff*..little birds...*sniff* ....and I had cut down their home."
"Drat, he rusted himself again," Dorothy says as she takes out the oil can and gets Tinman back mobile and functional.
"So why don't you quit chopping trees?"
Tinman responds, "I don't have the heart. If I had a heart, I could overcome my programming and stop the wicked witch. I sooo wish I could stop hurting the poor little birds and the squirrels...*sniff*"
"Hold on champ!" Scrappy yells. "You'll rust yourself again. I got an idea, come with us to OZ. The wizard there can give you are heart just like he can fix up *stuffing for brains here*."
Tinman eyes Scarecrow who is in a bit of a snit not knowing how to retort the puppies comment.
"Really, well if he can fix him, then maybe..."
"Sure he can help," says Scarecrow, "By the way, this is Dorothy and I am Scarecrow."
Suddenly the eyes of the Tinman turn red as he glares at Scarecrow and Dorothy, "KILL DOROTHY AND TINMAN...KILL!...MAIM!...DESTROY!" Tinman speaks in a choppy digitized voice as he swings his axe in a vicious arc at Dorothy.
"EEEEYYYIIII..." Dorothy screams. Scarecrow steps in front of the Tinman to redirect his attention.
"What's wrong? What is happening?" he asks as he nimbly dodges a swing from the axe.
"I have to destroy you. The witch commands it." Tinman says as he moves in a jerky pattern trying to fight the virus.
Dorothy shrieks as the Tinman moves towards the Scarecrow.
"Pu-Pu-PUPPIE POWER!" yells Scrappy doo as he charges the Tinman. He jumps on the Tinman's leg and bites down.
With a loud clang as his teeth bite on metal he yelps, "OW! OW! OW! I knew it! I knew !" Scrappy whines as he pulls a hanky from behind his back and wraps it around his head, "I knew if I hung around the guys I would do something like that! OW! OW!"
The Tinman swings time and time again, just missing the agile and sometimes clumsy scarecrow.
"I know, it is about the house. The new bedroom, Right?" Scarecrow says as he dives from a swing. "Really it is a karma thing! Honest!" The axe barely missies cleaving him in two. "I really need the bigger room!" The axe hisses in a rather low and *personal* arch. "Ok, ok, you win! You get the big bedroom!"
The axe swings down burying itself into a tree stopping just inches above Scarecrow's head. Scarecrow looks and gulps loudly and start to roll out of the way before the Tinman can free himself, when The Scarecrow notices a latch on the Tinman's torso. He turns the knob, a flap folds down revealing a laptop. Quickly before the axe can be removed from the tree, the scarecrow begins clicking away. Right as the axe is free and it looks as if the scarecrow is finished, the Tinman stops his swing and says...
"Wow!! I am myself again. How did you do it?"
"I just turned on your anti virus software. Why was it off?" The Scarecrow muses.
"Oh, I was downloading from Napster and the anti-virus thing was slowing me down." Tinman replies.
"Arrrghhh! What?! You stupid pile of chips !" Scrappy yells.
"Hey, watch it pup, I can neuter with this axe!" Tinman replies as he turns back to the Scarecrow. "So, when can I start moving in my new room?"
Scarecrow replies, "Hold on! I was just saying that, you know!"

[They all get back together and with each nodding in turn as the electric avenue plays once more. They begin skipping and bickering on down the road singing... "We're gonna walk down to Electric Avenue.]

[fade to black]


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