I wrote back and told him yes and in fifthteen minutes he sent me the database code and the things he needed. Zac was looking at me. I wrote down numbers and codes and all. Then mailed them back. I then went to the FBI criminal section. I typed Andrew's full name in. This time I got something, a unreleased file. I wondered how I even got it. I opened it. Zac was leaning back watching TV. I opened it and went to accused crimes.
Robbery, breaking and entering, attempted murder, rape, molestation of a minor, molestation second degree, rape of a minor, murder third degree.
The list continued. The last one got my attention.
Attempted murder of Agent Mayo, Jennifer.
I closed out and logged out. Zac looked at me.
"Done?" He asked.
"I want to get up." I said.
"Now?" He asked.
"Yes. I'm sick of this place. I want to go home." I said.
"No." He said.
"Then is there a way I can go outside?" I asked desperately.
"Um. I don't know." He said.
"Check." I said.
He got up and walked out. I had a room. Hell I've been in it for three weeks.
Taylor came in.
"How ya doing? Where's Zac?" He asked.
"He went to see the doctor. I want to go home." I said.
"I know." He said.
The doctor came in. He took the brace off and laid them aside.
"Come on." He said.
Zac came in and shrugged.
"Wait you said not yet." I said.
"I know. But you are the only patient I have that complains about everything." He said.
"Hey, I'm sick of the damn room. Four walls and a TV. It's boring. No light except the light in the ceiling. No nothing." I said.
"Stand up." He said.
I turned around, placing my feet on the floor. I was determined to do it and I was gonna get up if it killed me. He grabbed my arms and.pulled me up. The pain started when the pressure first hit it, but I held it back until I was completely on my own. No one was holding me. I stood there. Tears started falling, but I was so damn determined to stand up. I was holding it back. I swallowed hard.
"Sit back down.." He said.
"No." I said, kind of squeeky.
Zac walked up to me and he put his arm around me pulling up a bit, so there wasn't much pressure. But he sat down sitting me down.
"No point in hurting yourself." He said.
I laid my head back. Licked my lips. The pain was still pretty bad. The doctor got a wheelchair and rolled it in.
"Here. You can take her outside." He said.
I insisted on getting in it myself and I did. Despite the fact it hurt all the way outside. I was happy to breath air. Not stale hospital air. Fresh. Clean. A different color besides white. I looked around and closed my eyes, thinking back to that sunset. It seemed like it was ages ago. I stayed outside for six hours. I wouldn't let him take me in. Til then we talked about everything. He seemed to be doing better. Sleep better at least. But I wasn't sure about it when he was at home. He finally took me in. It was time for him to go. He kissed me.
"See ya tomorrow. Sleep tight." He said.
"I will." I said.
He walked out. I turned to look out the window. I saw some green but usually they were shut. She came in to shut them.
"No... leave them open." I said.
She did. She gave me the usual horse pills for the day. She walked out and I laid there in the darkness. I wanted to go home. I wanted out. I wanted to kill Andrew so bad. But I knew if I did go after him, I would end up in the hospital yet again. Unless...this is the time I started working on my plan.
January 4th Tuesday...2005
I was in the exercise room. I hated that room. It brought more pain. I could walk Just since I have been laying down for so long that I have to work the muscles to get them to be able to hold me up again. I was on the bars.
"Zac, will you quit." I said.
"Well, move your foot." He said.
"I'm gonna move it in a minute upside your face. Now leave me alone for a few minutes." I said.
He stepped back and waited. I eased the weight back down on my foot. Pain shot up my leg and I pushed back up, where there wasn't as much pain. Easing down again. Easy was the key. I finally had all my weight down. It hurt though. I looked up at him.
"I can't." I said.
"Yes you can." He said.
"No, I can't." I said.
"Yes you can and you will." He said.
"No, I can't." I said.
A little more. I was fixen to fall. I caught myself. He walked to me.
"Sit back down." He said.
Sitting me back, he got on his knees.
"In order for you to walk out of this hospital, you are gonna have to walk the bar from one end to the other." He said.
"I know that. I have been trying for over a month." I said.
"So. If it takes four, six... ten. You're going to walk out." He said.
He got up and went under the bar. He put me back to the machine way. I laid back, letting the machine work the soreness out even though that hurt. Having it take my leg so far. It hurt my back not my leg. I had tears running down my checks. Zac lowered the pressure some. Only to move it up gradually. After four hours,of trying he gave up for the day and took me back to the room. I sat there and rubbed my leg now feeling it hurt so damn much. She brought me a pain pill.
"No. I don't want it." I said.
"Jennifer take it." Amanda said, walking in.
"No, I'll get addicted to the stupid things." I said.
I was about hooked. Even for the slightest little pain I asked for one. I worked the pain away. About 6:30 Zac left. I was left alone to think. I rested. Then called the nurse in. She walked in.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Can you take me to the therapy room please?" I asked.
"Yeah, But why? You're not scheduled to be there again til tomorrow." She said.
"I know just please?" I asked.
"Ok." She said.
She took me there letting me in. I wheeled to the bars and grabbed them. I pulled myself up. I used my foot to lock the wheelchair in place so when I sat down it wouldn't roll back. I just let all the weight down at once. Pain surged through my leg and up my back. I just stood there letting the pain flood me, till I couldn't take it any longer and I then sat back down. I done this over and over for an hour or two. My doctor was standing at the window.
"Why does she do this?" He asked.
He then came in.
"Stop." He said.
"No, if I stop now I'll never do it again." I said.
"If you don't stop you won't walk again." He said.
I sat down then. He took me back to the room.
"Lay down." He said.
I did. He sat down.
"Listen. I know why you want out so bad. You want the people who put you in here to pay. But let me tell ya. The last girl I had in this shape, wrecked due to her boy friend and his brother. They were killers. She got out and walked down just like you, hurting herself more. Then she wanted to walk and it worked. You were doing the right thing. But she came back two months later." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
"She was in a body bag. She went after her boyfriend and him. She wrecked again but this time she was not so lucky. She died in that wreck. She went underwater. She wasn't ready and her legs gave out to fast. She drowned. Now if that is why you want out so bad, then I suggest you slow down and let your legs get used to it slowly or you will come back but in the morgue." He said.
He left then. I thought about it. I had the plan still in my head working it out.
Back home with Zac and them. Zac laid in the bed wide awake, wondering what I was doing. He couldn't sleep. He tried body pillows but it wasn't the same. He tossed and turned trying to get comfortable, but couldn't. He got up and walked downstairs. He sat down on the couch and curled up with a pillow wishing he could stay with me or that I was home. Something. He heard a gentle tapping. He looked in the drawer and picked up the gun that was in the drawer. He walked to the back door and waited til it opened.
"Shh Ike, you'll wake Zac up." Taylor said.
Ike flipped the light. Zac was holding the gun to Taylor's head.
"Damn Taylor. You scared the hell out me." Zac said.
"Um. Can you please move that?" He asked.
He removed it. Ike came in.
"I told ya Tay." Ike said.
"What are you guys doing awake?" Zac asked.
"May we ask you the same?" Ike asked.
"I couldn't sleep." He said.
"Again?" Ike asked.
"Yes again." He said.
They all walked to the living room. Zac sat down and laid his head back.
"What is it?" Ike asked, sitting down on the couch.
"She's not there Ike. No one is." He said.
"Were here?" Taylor said.
"Taylor, when did you become a girl?" Zac asked.
"I'm not." He said.
"My point. She's not there." He said.
"Oh." He said.
"Zac, eventually she will know you haven't sleep in 48 hours." Ike said.
"Done good today she didn't even notice." He said.
"Zac, quit kidding yourself. She will know soon." Taylor said.
"I can't sleep." He said.
"Come here." Ike said.
"No." Zac said.
Taylor sat there with his head looking down at the floor. He knew why Zac couldn't sleep. Nightmares. He thought he never told anyone what exactly happened when Andrew took him. He wouldn't. He refused to, saying he was drugged the whole time.
"Ike, I know why Zac can't sleep." He said.
"You do?" Zac asked.
"Yes...nightmares." He said.
Zac looked up. They had a small lamp on. They looked at each other at the same time. Their eyes meeting. Zac nodded. Ike looked at them both.
"Zac, you told us what happened. Taylor you didn't." Ike said.
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